do you ever dream,
do you ever wonder why you look through these eyes?
your in some kinda world,
and you breath,
you cough,
and some times you feel numb,
and when you realise your alive,
you panick,
and everything seems so frightening,
and all of a sudden,
your face to face with the thing thatll decide your life,
and youve only got one shot,
its now or never,
are you ready?

♥

eye of the tiger!!!!! grrrr!!!

♥

i wanna play guitar again!!!! and write songsssssssss.... no guitar...no bass....damn it. i miss composing music. i miss being able to hang out till late. and screwing around. taking my guitar and strumming it at the back of my dads garden
bad music, but fun. hahahaa. ah damn it. well 20 more days. bio's on wednesday, then the next paper's on the 6th.... thats monday.

guess what? my bed broke yesterday!!!! hahahaha!!!! i was saying my usual prayers at night, walked up to my bed, put on some music. then crashed on my bed. i heard a loud thud. and the bed's broken!!! hahaha! but shawn das gave me this idea. screw the bed. get some nice ass carpet, and just simply place the mattress over it....gonna try it. heh heh. malay wasnt too good....oh well did my best. so now, i guess the real stuff begins. more papers, cramming my head.... and yup mugging, and more yukkkkkk brands. why did my mum buy that shit!!!! okay see ya, gonna do bio.

♥

in my distant memories,
i see a man,
his beard long,
and his smile warm,
sometimes i wish,
i could go back in time,
and live through out those moments,
of laughter and joy,
a shout,
to life,
i love this world,
i love this world so much...

late nights,
and days to ponder,
something in me,
it feels so warm,
i cant get hold of it,

i want to see the sunset again,
sit and watch its spectacle,
and embrace life,
simply for what it is,
be lifted up,
and fly amongst the clouds,

i want to see the endless ocean,
and toss a bottle into it,
a message which i have held to my heart,
for so long,

and then there's the stars,
and its beauty,
those dots in the sky,
that twinkle,
and burn amongst the darness of the sky,

i want to explode into a colourful back drop,
and be released onto the endless roads,
and just keep running,
to somewhere i can make my own.

♥

i have to be honest....it struck me a few minutes ago while talking to yi guang. for the whole year, weve been warned about this day. today. a day before the o levels. just one day. 24 hours. and im so damn scared. my malay paper is tmr. and i know nothing. i havent worked for it at all. just talked to my sis just now. she told me just work on sunday. do my best. and be proud of what uve worked for. a 100 metre sprinters win may be to be to finish the race first, but anothers may be to do his best, and know that hes done his best. whether first, second or last. im gonna do the best i can for malay tmr, i may not have done my best throughout the year, and probably fail, but atleast i had done my best for one day and ill be proud of that. and my other papers, well no time to waste. this is it. the os are gonna start... ive been waiting for this day for quite a while. and im gonna do the best i can. thats all i want. to be bigger than myself and challenge life. this is just a paper. and the questions merely questions. what do u know? please oh god...i need a miracle. i have been studying. for two months. but suddenly im lost. and i guess i havent been focusing on all my subjects. like science, history and poa. maybe ive been too complacent. so its comes at me now, but know im sprinting towards it aswell, with all my might and power. arghhh!!!

will i be able to see the sun the day after tmr?
yes this isn't the end,
its just the begining.
but will i be able to surpass this part of my life?
you know what?
i will.
cause i will give it all i got.
and thats all that matters.

the sunny skies seem to darken,
as the haze from the south,
spreads to our land,
instilling our minds with fear,
however there are those few who can see through them,
and i'm one of them.

♥

sunsets,
starry nights,
mmmmm...

its 330 in the morning. and im still awake!!! shit!! again!!! hahah!!! oh boy... and nope. im not indulging in beer at this hour. i didnt just say that.... oshiego was aired on 89.7 today!! im so happy happy happy. yay!!!

♥

sunsets,
starry nights,
mmmmm...

its 330 in the morning. and im still awake!!! shit!! again!!! hahah!!! oh boy... and nope. im not indulging in beer at this hour. i didnt just say that.... oshiego was aired on 89.7 today!! im so happy happy happy. yay!!!

♥

look up to the endless starry night,
and reach out ur hand to a star,
and capture it in the palm of ur hands.

♥

so i sit here infront of this wierd machine, writting out about today.
well its 609 now and im at bright hill. math tuitions at 630 at siglap. havent finished my work. heh. im screwed. ive been kinda dazing off the past day or so. gotta get back my focus. gotta concentrate. oh god...if your out there...help me out a bit? hahah. oh well. today i woke up at 2pm. had lunch, my dad got me some sort of noodles. so i sat and did my math. but lingering off, playing with the fish in the pond, with the dog. oh yeah malamute is at the vet, he's getting his eye stiched...poor guy. :( oh boy... hahah! ive really gotta go. dont wanna waste anymore time. see ya!

♥

if there's something that i'd believe in,
its sunshine at the break of dawn,
at the sunsets that never seemed to end,
and the look in ur eyes when everything seems to fall on me,
why oh why,
has the world been driven to the end of the universe,
when my life seems to be drawn closer to its death,
yet some form of life comes around,
a blemish to my soul,
i cant believe im saying this,
...hahah

i wish i could write a song,
but i cant pick up my guitar for now,
i wish i could run to the end of the earth,
but my feet chained to my inevitable doom,
i wish i could please you.
but all i can do is wait and see...

♥

i sit here waiting,
my head adorning the stars,
in its wonderous beauty,
they always seem to humble me,
make me seem so small,
so insignificant,
kinda gay really,
i sit here with a bottle of vodka in my hands,
feeling a bit heavier,
now a bit lighter,
hahahaha,
indeed lighter,
when will everything just fall into place,
when will the world open up,
u can try so hard,
but sometimes,
sometimes...
hahah!!

♥

the sea breeze caressed my face, as i looked up, from a large boulder where i was seated. i gazed up at the starry night thinking : trying to remember those beautiful moments of my past. daddy i remember that time. i was 4 years old, and u came home one day. that song "twist again" was playing on the stereo. hahah. when i saw u, i ran and jumped into ur arms, hugging u so tight, i may have been crushing u. i want to let u know that, whenever i think of u, thats the first thing that comes into my mind.

oh and that time when i cried in my bathroom, cause u scolded me, and mum was bathing and yelling at me too. i was so spoilt. hahah. uve done well dad. uve raised and cared for me. and i love you so much. the thought of u leaving will always diminish me. i dont know. sometimes i wish the world would never end. and life just went on. people lived forever. but now thats not true. and i have a duty to this world.

i stood up slowly, taking my time to dust off grains of sand: which iritatingly stuck to inside of my shorts. and took a long route back to the house.

i was thinking dad, i always try to be like u. so much it scares me. hahah. i know what i have to do. and i will do it. and its about time i start straightening myself out.

im still trying to find my way back home. i procrastinate. and i wait for no reason. yet i know my destination, and how to get there. i want to start running again. ill wake up tmr. and jog. hahah.

♥

sean harrison

look deep into my eyes. and know who i am.


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